Mirror To My World
by kuroame16
Summary: What do you do when, literally, your whole world is destroyed and then rebuilt within the span of a few minutes?
1. Chapter 1

AN: "Another MirrorMask story already?" you say? "Why, that's ri-cock-ulous! Does this girl have no life?!" No. I really don't. So what do I do instead? Why, entertain you, of course! Btw, this is gonna be a continuing story. So just sit back and enjoy the ride.

---

"Valentine, give me the mask!" She thrusts her hand out to me urgently.

I am not a stagnant person. I fidget, jitter, drum my fingers, and occasionally even tap dance when I'm supposed to be standing still. I do not, however,_ stand still_. I have too much energy surging through my body at any given moment. It happens when you spend most of your life expecting to run.

Now, for the first time in my life, I'm frozen in place.

I glance at the mirrormask for a moment. Perhaps being a waiter wouldn't be so bad. I mean, it's all balancing and reacting, really. Not all that different from juggling. And I _won't_ be in the city. That's what I wanted from the beginning of all this darkness business, right?

But if I hand it over now, who knows what happens. Maybe things will go back the way they were before this fiasco. Then again, perhaps things will stay a crumpled mess. Either way, she still won't be here.

I could always cut my losses and jump through that window. But then she'd be trapped here. She'd die with this world. And if this is the world she created, would _I _die with it?

I realize now that I'm not very good at making split second decisions.

"Hurry up, there isn't much time!" She turns and looks at me with panic on her face. Now's as good a time as any.

I take a few steps towards her, weighing my options as I go, and finally hand it to her when I see the walls folding in on themselves.

Just as she places it on her face, everything goes black.

"It's over," I hear her say. "There's nothing left. She won."

There's silence. All I can see and feel is darkness. Is this what it's like to die? How..._boring_.

Suddenly, a square of light opens up in front of her. I catch a glimpse of...Helena? The princess? I don't know what to call her anymore. They're doubled in my sight, arguing. For a split second, I'm very confused and terrified. Then (anti?) Helena flies towards (real?) Helena and they melt together.

The girl falls to the floor next to me, asleep. The window is now blank. Nothing moves except for my fingers twirling around themselves as I try to figure out what the hell just happened.

Then, a rumbling sound. I look up to see the walls opening outwards, reforming themselves as the world becomes visible again. I choose a window that has reappeared and look at the surrounding land. A lot more...hilly than I remember it, but intact. It looks beautiful.

It makes me feel like someone punched my hopes and dreams in the throat.

I hear Helena...the _princess_, begin to stir. I look down at her and smile as she gazes at me, bleary eyed and confused.

"Well, well, well. Welcome back, Princess. You don't know me, but I'm a very important man." She stares, her mouth slightly agape. "You have a lot of explaining to do. But you can work all that out with your mother."

"What?" She's still half asleep. That is, until I sling her over my shoulder like a sack of sphinxes. _Very angry_ sphinxes. "Hey! What are you doing?!" She pounds her fists on my back as I walk towards the door. "Put me down! I don't_ want_ to go home! No!"

I whistle cheerfully as I head down the road and wonder to myself if the queen will give me another "all the jewels I can carry".


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Two chapters in less than 24 hours? Holy crap. Maybe I'll start turning them out like the old days and have this thing finished in like, two weeks. Anything's possible. Just an FYI, some chapters are going to be Valentine's POV and others will be Helena's. I just write better in first person. Forgive me if it gets confusing.

---

I lay across my bed, staring at the ceiling as random bolts of lightning outside my window break up the darkness. I can never sleep on nights like this. Storms sound too pretty to miss.

It's been two weeks. Two weeks since Mum's operation. Two weeks since I woke up in that world. Or...dreamed I was there. I still have no idea if any of it was actually real.

I stare at the mirrormask that hangs on my wall beside the moon mask I usually wear. I think..._think_ I took it along as a precaution. To make sure the princess can't try to escape again.

Or maybe Dad gave it to me to cheer me up when I was worried about Mum. I don't know anymore. That whole day (both parts) kind of blurs together.

I remember sadly that it's also been two weeks since I've seen Valentine. Well, _my_ Valentine anyway. A few days ago a young man joined the circus. We literally bumped into each other before a show. In that moment, his face, his voice...even when he touched my shoulder, it _felt_ like him. But I knew it wasn't as soon as I'd realized what he said.

"I'm sorry."

We exchanged a few awkward words. When he told me Mum had said he could audition, I grabbed my last shred of hope and ran with it.

"Well, good. You'd have made a terrible waiter."

When he laughed with me, I felt like my whole body swelled with joy. However, when he paused and looked at me in confusion my heart sank. "What?"

"Um...nothing," I replied, somehow managing to still smile. "You just...look like you'd be really lousy at it."

So I lie here, wondering if he's just a counterpart to Valentine like I was a counterpart to the princess or if I simply had a weird dream that involved a man I hadn't met yet. If it's the latter, would that mean I'm psychic? That seems like a pretty ridiculous thought. Then again, of my two options it's the decidedly _less_ ridiculous one.

I sigh, and roll onto my side to stare at the drawings on the wall. My eyes focus on the window of what appears to be a store. "It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real," I begin chanting to myself in a whisper. I get up from my bed and slowly walk towards the drawing, placing my hand on it. "It wasn't real. You're not crazy, Helena. Dreams are supposed to be weird, that's why they're dreams."

Then I see something move. Only for a second and for all I know it was just the erratic light playing tricks on me. Even so, it's enough to make me freeze in place. I glance at the mirrormask on the adjacent wall. What if...?

I grab it and use the store window as a focal point. It's not like I'm going to be sleeping tonight anyway.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly place the mask against my face.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: And a third! Whew! Just so you know, I do have an outline of this story planned out. That being said, I have to give partial credit to goldenone for staying up all night with me, then going to a diner at 7 AM and tossing ideas back and forth. She seriously came up with about half the major plot points I wanna work in and I couldn't have written any of this story without her. And a brief reminder: reviews make me happy. VERY happy. I absolutely love reading them. So write some pretty ones for me and make me smile, please?

---

I hear a yelp of pain and look down to see a...sphinx? It's tail is crushed under my foot, which I quickly lift up. "Sorry!" It hisses angrily at me and runs off. I watch it disappear into the distance before looking around in awe.

First my eyes fall on the cobblestone roads. Then the surreal buildings. Then the sky, only this time it's bright and blue and beautiful instead of the beige haziness from before. And finally, in the distance the Castle of Light towers over the city, reflecting the sun in all directions.

This time I know I'm not asleep. I'm all too aware of the cold stones beneath me and the warm air surrounding me. I'm suddenly overwhelmed by what all of that means. This is _mine_. I_ made_ it. I took pencil and paper and created a world full of life.

Then another thought occurs to me: despite the fact that I've been here before and that I brought this place into being, I don't know my way around. I'm completely lost. I start to feel a bit frightened as I look around and see faces I recognize only from drawings. I don't dare speak to them. Who knows what they're really like? I know this is supposed to be the good city, but what if the one I pick out and talk to happens to be the one mean person there is? I suddenly feel very childish in this strange place all by myself.

I clutch the mirrormask to my chest and hunch over slightly as I start walking aimlessly down the street. I need to find something familiar, something that won't make me feel so alien here.

Then it hits me. Valentine. He's familiar. A _friend_. I know if I can just find him, I'll feel safe and maybe I'll even enjoy myself here. That and I must admit, I've missed him. The silly mask, the strange robe, even that stupid lopsided hat. Plus, it'll be nice to have someone to juggle with again. I've spent the past few days training Christopher (it took me a while to remember he had a proper name, not just "the other Valentine") and he's alright, but nowhere near ready for a show yet. Maybe while I'm here Valentine and I can put on a proper show, with an audience and everything.

I lift up my head and stride down the road with a newfound determination. He has to be here somewhere and I'll find him. Even if it means I have to search every inch of this city. The question though, is where to start. What on earth does he _do_ except mess about and cause trouble? Then again, perhaps just knowing that will make things a lot easier.

To my left I see the bridge where I was first mistaken for the princess and smile. Might as well start there. I turn and walk towards it, glad to have spied something I know.

When I realize no one is sitting on the walls I sigh and look around again, wondering what to do next. Straight ahead is as good a direction as any, I suppose. I square my shoulders and continue my search down the road.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Maybe I'll just not sleep again tonight and keep on writing. I'm having way to much fun with these. Reviews? I know, I'm annoying when I beg, but I really do love hearing from you if you're enjoying these. Or even if you're not, as long as you're nice about it.

---

I stamp my foot and groan in frustration. A few passersby stop in their tracks and stare at me. I blush and offer them an apologetic smile before covering my face with my hands.

I peek through my fingers at the sun, which is in a significantly different section of the sky than it was when I arrived. I've been searching for hours. I must have looked in every single inch of this city, and there's been no sign of him anywhere. I haven't even so much as overheard his name.

Then I spot the palace again out of the corner of my eye. The Queen! Maybe she'll know where he is. Or at the very least, I'm sure she'd help me find him. My hopes regained, I begin to run, only stopping to remove my bunny slippers which are getting in the way more than anything.

When I reach my destination I see the Prime Minister sitting at his desk, busily filling out paper work. He briefly glances up at me. "I'm sorry, her Majesty is very busy so unless you have an appoint..." he trails off and looks back up. Then a smile covers his face and he stands to greet me. "Helena! Welcome back, my dear girl!"

"Hello again, sir." I nod politely as he puts a hand on my shoulder and guides me toward the palace entrance.

"Come inside. I'm sure her Majesty would love to see you."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "But...I thought you said she was busy."

He gives a slight shake of his head. "Well, not really. I just say that to keep her from being bothered. Her next appointment's not for a few hours, so she's just taking a bit of time to relax." As we reach the door, he turns and walks briskly back to his desk where a small man is waiting for him. "Just go on in! Don't be shy!" I hear him address the man as I stare at the door. "Yes? Um...no, I'm sorry that's_ not_ the charm. To be frank, we're not even _looking_ for it anymore. Yes, I know, and it's a lovely monkeybird beak..."

I take a deep breath and open the door, the sound of laughter and clapping immediately filling my ears followed by a familiar voice.

"And now, on one foot!"

I see a very familiar back hopping up and down in front of me while five rubber balls fly through the air."What?" I whisper to no one in particular.

Now the Queen notices me and stands from her thrown, her smile somehow becoming wider. "It's you!" Then a look of concern crosses her face. "Oh, love, you look exhausted."

"And round and round we go," the man announces while starting to hop in a circle, not really paying attention to anything other than his act. However, once he's facing me he slowly comes to a halt. Three of the balls fall to the ground.

Silence.

Then the remaining two fly to either side of the room as he throws out his arms. "Helena!"

I put my hands on my hips and smirk at him. "You're the Queen's jester?"

He mimics my stance and retorts "Don't say it in that tone of voice. It's a very important job. She can't be a very good ruler if she's pulling out her hair from stress, now can she?" Then he cocks his head to the side. "You look tired."

"That's because I've been searching the whole bloody city for you. Not to mention I probably looked everywhere a thousand times because I kept getting lost."

He shakes his head slightly, confused. "How can _you_ get lost _here_?"

"Well, it's completely different in three dimensions. I'm used to seeing it as random things that could be placed anywhere."

"Well, then!" He claps his hands together and nods determinedly. "We'll just have to fix that won't we?" He turns to the Queen and asks "Permission to call it an early afternoon, Highness?"

She gives a small smile and a slight wave of her hand. "Go on, have fun. There are some things I have to take care of anyway."

Valentine bows slightly to her before grabbing my wrist and walking briskly outside. "What you need is a tour."

"A tour?" I ask, struggling to keep up with his much longer strides.

"Yes." We come to a sudden stop when we reach the town square.

"And I suppose _you're_ the one to give it?"

"Of course. Now hand me the mask."

"What?" I look at my right hand, only just now remembering it's been clutching the mirrormask this whole time. I give him it and he lifts it in the air, adjusting the angle until the sun reflects off it. Within a few moments there is a loud whooshing sound as the Tower comes to a landing in front of us.

"Off we go, then." He motions for me to follow him inside.

"Valentine?" He stops and raises his head in question. "I'm really happy to see you again."

He grins and gives a slight shrug. "Of course you are. Who wouldn't be?"


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Wow, bit of a longer one this time. Valentine's POV again. Reviews?

---

"When did this place get so _big_?" She wonders aloud, staring wide-eyed out the window.

"It's always been this big." I lean against the window pane to take in the same view. "You've just only seen the Palace district." I signal for the Tower to come to a stop and we hover just high enough that the entire city is in sight. "I figured a bird's eye view would make figuring out where to go a little easier."

"Wow...what's that?" Helena points in a random direction, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

I squint my eyes, looking for a discerning landmark (the best way to remember where things are when you usually get there from above) and spy the large, lavishly decorated theater. "That's the entertainment district. I used to live there, before I got my Tower."

She points in a different direction now, just barely hiding her excitement (which, with Helena, translates into 'not hiding it from _me_ at all'). "And that?"

I repeat my process, this time the block of office buildings coming in to focus. "That's the business district. Nothing too exciting there unless you like working at a desk all day."

"How about over there?" She then locates the most obvious of them all.

"Oh, that? That's the District of Tall Buildings." I answer matter-of-factly.

"The _what_?" She finally breaks her gaze from the world below and stares at me incredulously.

"The District of Tall Buildings. You know: all the buildings are _really_ tall, the windows are high, you have to be at least five foot, eight inches to enter without a day pass and rental stilts? Pretty self-explanatory, really." She continues to stare at me as if my mask has just fallen off.

"Huh...well, let's go there then."

"Um, right. Do _you_ have money to pay for your pass? Because I certainly don't." I drum my fingers on the windowsill and look at her expectantly.

"The Queen doesn't pay you?"

"Of course she pays me!" I gesture to our surroundings. "She gave a _Tower_, for god's sake! I'm also allowed full access to her Majesty's kitchen all hours of the day." I neglect to add that the latter is only allowed while under the cook's strict supervision.

She folds her arms and turns to face me. "What about all those jewels you got for turning me in last time?"

"Well, I had to buy some supplies for..." I trail off as an idea forms in my head. "Tower! To the entertainment district!" I brace myself against the wall as the entire building lurches. Helena however, is not so prepared and falls flat on her bum.

"Ow!" She pulls herself up and gingerly rubs her behind. "You could have warned me, you know!"

I choke back a laugh at her plight. "Well, you could have reacted quicker." Now we come to a sudden stop and she's on the floor again. This time I can't hold back my amusement, even going so far as to point and she gives me a half glare, half pout.

I sigh and compose myself slightly. "We're here." I throw open the door, not even waiting for her to stand up again as I begin strolling down the street. "Come on, we haven't got all day!"

"Right, don't worry about me, it's not like I've just been thrown about like a rag doll." Her eyes shoot daggers at me. I don't understand why she makes a big deal that I don't ask if she's alright when she's obviously fine.

I motion for her to follow me and start running down the road. "Helena! This way, hurry up!" After about a quarter mile down I take a sharp turn and come to an intentionally sudden stop. I hear a grunt and feel a heavy thud against my back as she runs into me. I turn around and spread out my arms in presentation. "Welcome to Juggler's Lane!"

"Wow...no wonder those jewels went so fast." She lets out a small giggle of delight as she starts wandering about, stopping at stand after stand to stare at balls made out of crystal and gold, some that glow like stars, batons of all shapes and sizes, and fruits (for beginners to practice with). "I really should have brought my wallet. Some of these would be great for mine and Dad's routine."

Helena lets out a sigh and clasps her hands behind her back. "Well, where to next? Not being able to buy anything here is making me depressed."

"Let's see..." I ponder for a moment, then take a right turn. "If we walk just a few blocks this way..."

"Uh huh?" She follows, keeping her curious eyes on me.

"And turn here...aha!" I point to the large clearing. Dozens of clotheslines hang high above us and the ground is lined with several layers of pillows. "Funambulist Square. And look," I point to a couple dancing a tango in the air, stepping effortlessly from wire to wire. "We're just in time for a show."

We watch the tail end of their routine and Helena jumps up and down, clapping and whistling as the pair takes a bow and jump gracefully to the ground again. "That's amazing! It's really too bad they can't come back home. Dad would be speechless."

I watch her for a moment and smile softly. She looks happier than a kid in a candy store with their mother's purse. I ruffle her hair, then guide her off in yet another direction. "Come on, Kiddo. It's getting late and I still have one more thing left to show you."

She makes a half-hearted attempt to fix her hair and walks alongside me. "Where else could we possibly go that'd be this much fun?"

"Just you wait and see." After walking for nearly half an hour the sun begins to set and we come to a road leading to the city's outskirts. I stop and put a hand on her shoulder. "Do you trust me, Helena?"

Her mouth curls into a sarcastic smirk. "You've _got_ to be kidding."

"Oh, please! I do _one_ stupid thing and for the rest of our lives you can't even have the _teensiest_ bit of faith in me?"

She shrugs her shoulders in submission. "Fine. I'll trust you _this_ time."

"Good! Now just go with it, alright?" I stand behind her and cover her eyes with my hands. "Just keep walking til I say so, okay?"

She begins taking careful steps forward. "This is ridiculous." Despite her words, I can feel her face pulling into a smile.

"Yes, very. We're almost there, though." A few moments later I stop us in the perfect spot. "Ready?" She nods. "One. Two. Three!" I uncover her eyes for her to look at the field stretching out before us filled with glowing flowers that illuminate the land for miles. "Surprise."

"Oh my god..."She wanders forward a few more feet, her mouth agape in awe. I grin widely, feeling rather pleased with myself. "Valentine, what are these?"

"Sunflowers. You don't have them in your world, do you?" I stick my hands in the pockets of my robes and follow her.

"Well, we call them 'sunflowers', but they're nothing like this." I catch the utter amazement in her eyes. She looks cute with the lights bouncing off her face like this. Cute like those bunnies on her feet would be if they were alive. "Valentine?"

"Hmm?"

Her smile reaches all the way to her eyes. "Thank you."


	6. Chapter 6

AN: You know what to do. :p

---

"So..." She taps her finger on the window pane, the mirrormask held lazily in her other hand.

"So!" I clap my hands together and look at her expectantly. "You're taking off then?"

"Yeah, looks like I have to. I mean, there's a performance in the afternoon and I still haven't figured out how time passes back home when I come here." She gives a little shrug and adds "For all I know, I've already been gone most of tomorrow, too."

I chuckle at the thought and glance down at my feet, tapping my fingers together awkwardly. "Just...promise this won't be the last I see of you, alright?"

"Don't worry, I'll visit all the time now that I know all the things to see here."

"Oh, you haven't seen the half of it! I didn't even get a chance to show you Faye Fountain! Though it'd be a bit drab this time of year. Most of the pixies are hibernating."

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Pixies hibernate?"

I give an emphatic nod. "Of course they do. Don't they back in your world?"

"We don't even have real pixies."

I stare unbelievingly at her. "Your world sounds so _boring_. How do you even stay awake?"

She laughs and answers "There's lots of fun things there. You just have to look a bit harder to find them." She thinks for a moment and adds "You have to pay for a lot of them, too."

I give the thought a dismissive wave. "Sounds like way too much work."

"It is, sometimes."

A silence falls over us. Realizing that I have to be the one to break it, I step forward and pull her into a hug. "Well, be good, Kid. Don't do anything I'd do, and if you do hope you can run faster than they can."

I feel her tense up for a moment and wonder if she was hugged as infrequently as I was as a child. I squeeze her tighter when I feel her return it. "Um...right. I'll try."

We both pull back and her face looks significantly less...pale than before. "Are you feeling alright?" I ask, genuinely concerned.

She brushes a lock of hair out of her eyes and doesn't quite meet my gaze. "What? Oh, I'm fine."

"Well, you look a bit flush." I observe. "You don't have a fever, do you?" I motion to feel her forehead but she moves away.

"Don't be silly, Valentine. I'm fine, really."

"Ah. Right." I respond, satisfied enough with her answer. "So...off you go then."

"Yeah. See you soon." She puts on the mask, turns to the window, and just like that she's gone again. I give a small wave and wonder if she can actually see it before heading to my bedroom, finally realizing how exhausted I am.

And that's how it is for a while. Helena visits at least once a week, usually several times. We spend the days wandering about the city watching street performances and marveling at all the natural wonders (well, she does anyway. They're all old news to me. Showing everything to someone for the first time does bring some of the excitement back though). Sometimes I even take her to fancy restaurants and to see plays at the theater. Turns out the Queen is more than happy to give small handouts when it involves the girl and I'm more than happy to use that to my advantage.

But then, one day...it stops. Two months go by and not a single visit.

I'm starting to worry. Something must be wrong. Why else would she just stop showing up?

Or maybe she's just bored of it all. I mean, I don't remember half the things I drew as a child. Come to think of it, I don't remember drawing at all as a child. And after all, that's all this place really is to her, isn't it? Maybe she just...grew up and forgot all about it. Maybe she's decided she's had enough of sphinxes and young men in masks and it's time to just stay in her dull, pixie-less, _proper_ sunflower-less world.

This morning marks the third month and still no Helena. I stare out the window as I toss a ball in the air and catch it a few times to warm up for the day. I wonder for a moment if were I to throw it through the window as hard as I could, maybe it would somehow cross over and get her attention. Only one way to find out.

I sigh as I watch it hit the ground and bounce away.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: The songs are I've Just Seen A Face by the Beatles and Mary Mack by...haven't got a clue, but the point is I don't own either of them. I should probably mention that I don't own MirrorMask either cause I haven't really put a disclaimer on this yet (oops). I mean, I don't even own the DVD. I'm borrowing it from goldenone.

---

I have the day off today. Things have finally settled down since what her Majesty now refers to as 'the incident' and she doesn't require me as often as before to get through the day without an eye twitching. She asks about Helena every now and again. I don't know what to tell her anymore.

I sit on the floor and tap my feet, unsure of what to do with myself. It's been six months now. Six whole months and no Helena in sight. I'm beginning to think she really isn't coming back. At least, I'm starting to lose hope.

I reach into my pockets and pull out a new set of crystal balls I bought a few weeks ago: orange with little red stars in the middle. I like to think she'd think they were pretty. I start working with three, then slowing add them one by one until all seven are in the air at once. I like to think I've become a better juggler now that I don't have any distractions. That way at least _something_ good came out of it. I find a steady pace and start singing to myself.

"_Mary Mack's mother's making Mary Mack marry me  
My mother's making me marry Mary Mack  
I'm gonna marry Mary, cause when Mary's taking care of me  
We'll all be making merry when I marry Mary Mack  
Yum diddle diddle, diddle diddle diddle dum"_

"I think I've heard that song before." I stop as the familiar voice fills my ears and all seven crystals fall to the ground. She _really_ has got to stop doing that.

I open my mouth to make a witty retort, but as soon as I look at her I'm frozen again. For only the second time in my life, mind you.

Her hair now cascades slightly passed her shoulders instead of curling around the nape of her neck. The loose pajamas have been replaced with comfortable, closer fitting sleeveless shirt and jeans. They draw my eyes to the fact that she's also become rounder in some places and less so in others. Her face is a bit less baby-like and even while sitting I can tell she's gotten a bit taller. She'll still need a pass for the DoTB, but it's just as obvious as the other changes.

She looks pretty. Like a young woman. Wait..._what_?

"Do I have something on my face?" I realize I've been staring and shake myself out of the trance.

"No, of course not. I keep telling you, _that's_ the problem." I smile when she chuckles at my bad joke. "Forget your slippers here?" I tease, rewarding me more laughter.

"No, not exactly." She looks sheepishly at her feet now as she slips the mirrormask into a bag slung around her shoulder.

"Oh, I get it now." I wave a finger at her. "Just couldn't keep away, could you?"

Her eyes find their way back to me. "Something like that," she answers quietly. She seems almost...scared. It makes my chest feel tight and gives me the uncontrollable desire to make _both_ of these things go away. Then she takes a breath and continues. "Listen, I've been _really_ busy lately. The circus is really taking off. We've added five shows a week just so we wouldn't sell out so quickly. I haven't really had much free time except at night, and even then I'm usually so exhausted I fall right to sleep. So-"

"Don't say it," I interrupt. "Besides, it's not like I don't have anything else to do besides entertain you all day."

"Right, that's why you're sitting on the floor of your Tower, alone, singing to yourself." The sarcasm in her voice is playful. It still makes me hate that she can see right through me.

"I'm just fine on my own, thank you very much. A Valentine is much too creative to need someone else in order to occupy themselves."

She puts her hands on her hips scoldingly. "Just admit that you missed me as much as I missed you."

"_Fine_!" I finally stand up and walk over to her. Her head nearly reaches my chin now. I gesture awkwardly with my hands as I speak. It helps me think. "I suppose I'd be lying if I said having you around _didn't_...add a little spice to life."

"Was that so hard?" Yes, as a matter of fact. "Now, I have to go get ready for a show. I just wanted to stop in so you knew I hadn't forgotten." She looks down at the bag. "I'm gonna leave it with you this time. It's probably easier for you to find time to visit anyway."

"Right. I'll see you later, then?" She nods and hands me the bag before putting on the mask and disappearing again. Only this time, once she's gone the mask falls to the ground. I pick it up and stare at it a while, leaning against the wall and trying to remember how to breathe properly. Suddenly I hear music echoing through the room.

_I've just seen a face  
I can't forget the time or place where we just met_

"Shut up!" I yell at the ceiling. "You're not helping!" The music continues and I slide to the floor, letting out a frustrated groan before singing along (but only because I happen to find the tune very catchy).

"_And I'd have never been aware  
But as it is, I'll dream of her tonight  
Di di di, di di di"_


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Cute, fluffy stuff. Let me know if it makes you smile. :)

---

I bite my lip in concentration as I drag the marker around the edges of the mirror in my trailer. I make intercut patterns with leaves and flowers before finally creating the outline of a large window. Then I take a step back and admire my own work. Can't have Valentine popping out of random drawings I left lying around Aunt Nan's flat, can I? I don't think she'd take to that too well. So this one is special, just for him.

Satisfied for the time being, I slip into my new pajamas Mum bought me: a red satin camisole with matching shorts. Mum told me I need to dress and act more like a girl. I told her I _am_ a girl, so acting like one is acting like myself. I don't think she quite gets it though. Oh, well. At least they feel nice.

I turn off the light and lie down, falling asleep within moments.

A quiet thump. Then a slight tickling on my face and I swear I hear someone say my name. I try to bat away the offending thing but it comes back. "Helena?" I hear a bit more clearly this time and open my eyes groggily to a masked face _staring_ at me, our noses nearly touching. So I do what any normal person who wakes up to someone staring at them would do...

I scream. Then he screams and jumps to the other side of the room, crouching down and covering his head defensively.

"Valentine, what are you doing?!"

He looks up, just as startled as I am. "_Visiting_, like you told me to!"

I grab the blanket and pull it up to my chest, suddenly very embarrassed by how I'm dressed. "I was _sleeping_, you idiot!"

He stands up, starting to get just as annoyed as I am. "Well, how was I supposed to know that?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe the fact that you had to _wake me up_ should have tipped you off!"

"What kind of tower is this, anyway?" He looks around confused at the small space.

"It's not a tower, it's a trailer."

"You _don't_ live in a tower?" Now he stares at me disbelievingly.

"No, I live in a_ trailer_ so it's easier to move with the circus. Towers don't fly here."

He takes another look around, scrunching up his nose in fake disgust. "And I'm friends with you why?"

"Trust me," I answer sarcastically "I've asked myself the same thing." I let out a small laugh and curse myself for not being able to stay angry at him.

He cocks his head to the side. "What's with the blanket? It's pretty warm in here, you'll get all sticky and dehydrated." He crawls over and starts pulling it down. "Come on, off with it!"

"No!" I fight back, trying to maintain some dignity.

"It's not like you're in your knickers or anything!"

"Practically!" We struggle for a while longer before he finally wrenches it away, drops it at his feet, and sits on it.

"There!" He grins, looking quite satisfied with himself. I glare and stick my tongue out at him. "Don't be so modest. They actually look quite nice. A bit distracting, being so shiny, but still."

I rub my arm and gaze to the side awkwardly. "Um...thanks."

He must realize I'm still uncomfortable, so he removes his robe dramatically and tosses it aside. "Feel better now?"

"Actually..." I stare at him in his t-shirt and pants, noticing that he's also lacking his usual boots. I never realized how skinny he was until now. Skinny, but with a lithe muscle one gains from things like climbing trees. "Yeah. I do."

"It'll be like a slumber party!" He grabs a spare pillow and hugs it to his chest, leaning towards me expectantly. It makes me smile. He looks like a little boy.

"Helena?"

"Hmm?" I wait for him to continue.

He thinks for a moment before saying "You look like a girl."

I smirk and tell him "Well, you scream like one."

We talk and joke for a while before I drift back to sleep again. I wake to the sun hitting my face and the sound of light snoring. I look over to see Valentine curled up on the floor with his mouth open very slightly, still clutching the pillow. I sit up and pull the blanket over him, watching him snuggle into it before sneaking out to find some breakfast.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Hormones and conflict! Oh noes! And btw, I'm not updating again until I get some reviews. Goldenone doesn't count. Enjoying the story? _Tell_ me and you'll get more.

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"Oh, no! Not the magic marker!" I squeal in a silly voice as Helena's foot attacks mine. She laughs maniacally as my sock becomes covered with black ink. I make choking noises and shake my leg about before letting it fall over the side of the bed lifelessly.

She sits up and pulls her knees to her chest, grinning. "So, convinced this world is fun yet?"

I drape my arm lazily across my forehead (or rather, the part of my mask which covers it). "Not at all," I say, trying my best to sound serious. "You've proven _you're_ fun, but I knew that already. As for the world itself, well, I've only actually _seen_ this room and it's way too small to be much fun for anybody."

She grabs a pillow and throws it at my head playfully. "Well, that's _your_ fault for showing up at all hours of the night when it's too late to go do anything!"

I clutch the pillow in my hand and toss it back at her. "That's because you're busy during the day."

"That's beside the point!" She leans over and begins poking me in the sides of my stomach, causing me to convulse in laughter. Damn her for finding my weak point.

"St-stop! No fair!" I shake helplessly for a while before gathering all my strength and grabbing her hands. I take a moment to catch my breath before asking "So what _is_ the point, Smiles?"

She grins at the nickname (see? It suits her) and tells me "I don't know," before erupting into her own fit of giggles.

I start to realize, once both our chuckles die down, that she's leaning over me and we haven't looked away from each other for a _long_ time. I think it scares me because my chest is doing this strange 'thumping' thing, but I can't figure out why. Her hands feel...soft. And small. They fit into mine so easily. In a weird way, it feels...nice.

My face feels warm. Am I coming down with something?

There's a knock at the door. Well, less of a 'knock' and more of a 'bang', followed by a voice I don't know. Which isn't saying a lot since I only know Helena.

"Helena! What's going on? It's two in the morning!" She jumps away from me and I feel inexplicably sad until the voice speaks again. "I heard laughing. Who's in there with you?"

"No one, Dad!" she lies. "I just...couldn't sleep is all!" Helena scrambles to lock the door, but he's opened it before she has the chance. And his eyes immediately fall on me.

"What the _hell_ are you doing in my daughter's trailer?"

My chest does that 'thumping' again, but this time it doesn't feel nice at all. "Um...just visiting, sir." I lift up my foot to show the sock that's been drawn on. "Playing with sock puppets. See?" I let out a nervous laugh, trying to lighten the mood. I see fire behind his eyes and what makes it worse is I have no idea _why_ he's so angry with me.

"You expect me to believe that when you're in a young girl's room in the middle of the night? How old are you anyway, _thirty_?"

"Twenty, sir." My voice gets quieter. I feel like a mouse being stared in the face by a gryphon.

"Dad, it's not what you think!" She steps between us and I wonder if her dad really is angry for no reason (and I know I can't think of one) or because she's trying to protect me.

He folds his arms and turns his attention to her. "Well, what am I supposed to think when you're sneaking men from our circus into your trailer? Next thing you'll be...I don't know, _smoking_ or something!" Now he gestures back at me." And he's _still_ in his mask?! Is that the new thing these days?"

"New thing for what?" I ask.

His gaze goes back to me as he points a finger. "_You_ be quiet. I want you _out_ of my circus, Christopher." With that, he slams the door and storms off.

A silence falls over us. I think I can hear the electricity flowing through the light. I also think I might be glad I don't have parents.

When it becomes apparent that she's too upset to say anything, I decide to ask the question that's been poking at my brain. "Who's Christopher?"


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Big thanks to Tessa for going back and reviewing all the chapters. It really does mean a lot to know that someone's enjoying this so much. And trust me, I _never_ get tired of reviews like yours. And to goldenone...well, we both know you only reviewed cause I can (and did) bitch at you in real life until you do :p. Hehe. Love you both :)

---

"Stupid! Selfish! Cowardly! Idiot!" I emphasize every word by throwing something (pillow, shoe, sketchbook, then my stuffed sea anemone, now I'm reaching for a hairbrush) at Valentine who, for the first time since I've known him, is the _last_ person I want to see. Even the fact that he's been gone for three days doesn't help. I guess absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder when you're using that time to fume.

"Ah!" He dodges the first three objects, then catches the sea anemone in his left hand and it makes me wonder if he's used to girls being angry with him. He's still holding it as he makes those _stupid_ movements with his hands. "_What_?! What'd _I_ do?!"

"It's _your_ fault! It's _your fault _Christopher's gone!"

I had thought (more like hoped, to be honest) maybe Dad was just shocked. That maybe if he'd slept on it, he would have realized he was being irrational and forgotten the whole thing. Unfortunately, he'd been true to his word and Christopher had been kicked out two towns back.

"If you hadn't been such a scaredy cat" I toss the brush to see if I can make the terrible attempt at an insult sting in some way "you'd have just told him what was _really_ going on!"

"What was I supposed to say, Helena?! 'Hi, I'm from an alternate reality, your daughter_ drew_ it, and I come through her mirror every night?' I'm sure that would have gone over_ great_!" He folds his arms and looks away from me stubbornly.

"At least it wouldn't have been blamed on someone who wasn't even involved!"

"So what? It's not like he's dead or something and you won't ever see him again."

"Yes, it _is_!" I pound on the bed with my fist, wanting it to make him look at me. "That's how the circus works! People leave and, oh yes, we promise to write or call, but we never do!"

"And who's fault is that?" I hear him interject quietly before continuing my tirade. He's _still_ staring at the wall and it makes me feel that much more furious.

"They're just _gone_! We just keep going from town to town and I _don't_ ever see them again! I _liked_ having Christopher here!"

"_Who_ the _hell_" he gestures at his head and turns to me again "is this 'Christopher' you won't shut up about?!"

I could say 'my juggling partner for the show'. I could say 'a friend of mine who was good at what he did and didn't deserve to be fired'. I _could_ say 'someone I liked being around because he reminds me so much of_ you_'.

But I don't. I can't. Now that he's finally meeting my gaze again, I have the overwhelming urge to make him regret it. I grab the blanket into my fist and spit out what is probably the most painful way to explain it. "My best friend!" I see his expression fall and it sinks further and further with every word that comes from my mouth. "Who I loved and cared about, unlike someone else I could name!"

It's quiet for a moment. Way too quiet. Which means for once the words really did sting, and in my current state that makes me very, very glad.

He picks at a string on his sleeve, refusing to look at me and says very plainly "Oh. Right. Of course he was." Then he picks the mirrormask off the floor and adds "Well, I'd better be going. Don't want to distract you from all the things you _care_ about." I scoff and turn away. "Oh, and I'll be sure to take the mask with me. It's not like _you'll _need it for anything." I look up just in time to see him disappear through the mirror.

Still clutching the blanket, in one quick movement I toss it over his special window just to let him know he's not welcome anymore. I stare at it and smirk wickedly. Then I flop down on my bed and take a deep breath. I'm not sure if it's from relief, satisfaction, or something else, but it feels good.

I look around my trailer, this tiny room with the bed, mirror, and locker doubling as a wardrobe. It's nearly filled to the brim with masks, drawings, and other knickknacks. But for some reason, as I spot a sock that looks too big for me on the floor with a face drawn on it, all I can think about is how empty it feels.

Suddenly I really, _really_ wish there were two mirrormasks.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Nice long chappy for you all. The fluffy is back! Once again: don't own the movie, don't own the bands, don't own the song (which, btw, is Kill by Jimmy Eat World)...don't even own the computer I'm typing this on.

P.S. Good to know there are other hopeless romantics like me out there :)

---

"That's _it_!" I storm out the front door with a pillow under one arm, a blanket in the other, and a sleeping cap still on my head. I stomp a good distance away before turning around and shouting at the building. "I need some _peace_ and _quiet_! I'll be back later. _Don't_ go anywhere without me!"

If anyone were to look under the mask, they'd see very big, dark circles under my eyes. For the past two months, the Tower's been looping some stupid songs that _she_ brought with her one time. Some bands with names like 'Dashboard Confessional' and 'Jimmy Eat World'. It's beyond annoying, but until recently I could at least tune them out enough to sleep at night. This week, however, the Tower figured out that it could fix that just by turning up the volume. I haven't slept in three days.

I wander for a mile or so before happening upon a field of sunflowers. I walk groggily in a circle before lying down, much like a dog. I put the cap over my face to block out the sun and within seconds I'm lost to the world.

I'm not sure how long I've been out when it starts; maybe seconds, maybe days. A sound floats into my ears. It feels almost soothing at first. Then it gets louder...and louder still. I open my eyes to see the Tower a mere ten feet away from me.

I snarl in my anger at being disturbed. "_What_?! What do you _want_ from me?!" At that, the front door opens and the music wafts out even more clearly as I trudge inside where I find the mirrormask waiting for me on the floor.

_Well, you're just across the street  
Looks a mile to my feet  
I wanna go to you_

"Uh uh." I shake my head and wave the thought away. "No way. She doesn't want to see me, remember? I mean, she covered up the mirror and everything."

_Funny how I'm nervous still  
I've always been the easy kill  
I guess I always will_

I look at said object (a window on this side) for the first time in weeks. I've made it a point to keep my eyes away from that wall. But now when I finally see it, the strange inky-blackness that had been covering it has been lifted.

"Alright...so maybe she isn't _completely_ adverse to the idea of seeing me again. That _doesn't_ mean I'm going."

_Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?  
Or only one way that it was always meant to be?_

I look from the window to the mirrormask, back to the window, to the mask more times than I care to share before finally picking it up and saying (to the Tower, to myself, it doesn't matter) "Okay, well...I suppose I could always just take a peak. Maybe I'll learn a little something about all these _important_ people she keeps telling me about."

With that, I stand before the window and place the mask in front of my face, careful not to really let it touch me. It allows me a few minutes of spying through to the other world without actually going there.

And there, right in front of her mirror, is Helena with marker in hand. She's writing slowly and after a moment I realize she's carefully making the letters backwards so they show up as forward when looking at it from where I am. She finishes and leans back, staring straight at me, but by the way her eyes search the space it's obvious she sees nothing but her own reflection. I read the simple words and they give my chest that weird ache again.

'Please come back'.

_You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say  
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away_

She moves to the back corner of her bed and sits, never taking her eyes away from the drawing. I see her lips move in speech, but hear nothing. Then she looks away and buries her face in her knees. I see her shoulders begin to shake. Is she...?

My thoughts are confirmed when I see her hand wipe at her eyes before she looks up again, tiny streaks going down her face. Her hazel spheres glisten and the artificial light bounces off them in a thousand directions. I really wish my lungs would work right.

This just isn't fair. She's not allowed to be pretty when she's sad. It's like some kind of horrible poetry.

_I pick up put down the phone  
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes  
It's just like being alone_

I square my shoulders, any possible sleep-deprivation gone from my mind. "Well, we can't have this now, can we?" I take a deep breath and put on the mask. As I melt through the glass, one last line of the song fills my ears.

_Oh god, please don't tell me this has been in vain_

Before I can think twice, I'm standing in her room. She gasps in surprise and quickly wipes at her eyes again before sitting up.

I offer he a small smile. "Hey."

She tries to smile, but it doesn't quite work. "Hey."

I bring a finger to the corner of my eye in an impromptu sort of sign language. "Your eyes are wet."

"Yeah. I, um..." she sniffles and tucks her hair behind her ear. "There were a lot of onions in dinner."

I set the mask on the floor and sit next to her. "You're also a terrible liar."

She lets out a short laugh and I make a bet with myself that before I leave tonight, she'll have earned back her nickname.

"Anything you want to say?" I only ask because I don't know where to take this conversation anymore. I don't think I'm very good at this.

She licks her lips before an ironic little smile graces her features. "Oops. I promise not to do it again."

I smirk at the odd reference. That's all it takes for me to forgive her.

An awkward-but-not silence falls over us and I've long since learned that it's usually my job to fix that. "So why didn't you tell me about this Chris person?"

"First of all, if he heard you call him 'Chris', he'd probably beat you to a pulp. He _hates_ being called that. And second..." she leans over slightly, head resting on my shoulder. "I don't know. I guess I thought it'd be weird."

"Why would knowing you had friends from your own world be weird?" My fingers find their way to hers as she thinks of a response.

"Because he's a lot like you. You know, how I'm a lot like that princess and the queens are like my Mum. He looks like you, he _sounds_ like you. I thought maybe you'd think I'd start to see him as a replacement for you."

Her hand plays with mine lazily as I purse my lips in thought. "Well, that's just silly of you. I mean, he looks like me and he sounds like me...but he's _not_ me, is he?"

"No." She adds, laughing "Way too mature."

"Aww, where's the fun in that, Smiles?"

I feel her shrug as she buries her face in my arm. "So how's the city been doing?" she asks while letting out a large yawn.

I answer immediately, glad for a topic. "Well, the funambulists have added salsa dancing to their routine. And the pixies have a few more months before they start hibernating again. Oh, and the sunflowers are in full bloom! I found this field filled with Birds of Paradise. They make the most peculiar little 'peep' noises. I never asked before, but what's your favorite flower?" There's no response. "Helena?" I glance down to see her eyes closed contently. "Guess it's time for me to go then." I glance at the alarm clock next to the bed. It reads 4:08 AM. "No wonder you were so tired."

I carefully remove myself from her side and lay her down gently, pulling the blanket over her. A lock of hair falls into her face and I slowly brush it away.

I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's the way her eyelashes rest on her cheeks or the way I can see her body slowly rise and fall with each breath. Whatever it is, it gives me the irrational desire to do one thing, and I don't fight it. So I lean in to place a tiny kiss on her forehead. It can't possibly hurt, right?

I come to the conclusion that the laws of gravity, physics, and chance must all be out to get me when she shifts slightly and my lips fall instead on the corner of her mouth. A shiver goes through my body and I linger for a moment in what I refuse to call anything more than surprise. My face gets that familiar warm feeling all over it. I pull away to pick up the mirrormask, but I look back at her before putting it on again. As she smiles in her sleep, I can't help but feel really...happy.

I shake my head. "Stop being such a sap. You're a Valentine, for god's sake." And with that, I go home...

Even though I really don't want to.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: I thought maybe I made her dad come off as a bit of a douche bag, so I figured I'd redeem him a bit. Also, the mask-less wonder we've heard so much about finally appears!

---

Dad hands the cab driver some money before giving me about fifty quid and instructs him "Now, I want you to take her to that nice Italian restaurant on sixteenth street. And be quick about it, it's a special night for this one."

"Dad, seventeen isn't a big deal. It just has the misfortune of being between sixteen and eighteen. No need to be so fancy about it, I'm sure I could find some little cafe or something."

He opens the door for me and I step into the back seat. "Oh, but I think you'll like this one. Great reviews and all, really sounds amazing."

I give him a quizzical look. "Dad, you run a circus. You don't read restaurant reviews."

"Nah, but I just thought maybe you'd like this one." He gives me a small wink before the car begins to move on its way.

I sigh and lean back into the seat. While part of me would rather celebrate my birthday back at the circus with a little cake and maybe an appearance by my masked companion, having a night off on the city is rather appealing.

I dressed up for the occasion too, wearing the new dress Mum gave me (dark reddish purple with short sleeves and a princess waist) with some sandals. I even put on a hint of silver eye shadow. Mum tried to convince me to wear lipstick, but I absolutely refused. I was going to be eating and what was the point if it was just going to come off on my fork anyway?

I must have gotten lost in my thoughts because the cab pulls over much sooner than I expect it to. I thank the driver and pull at the hem of my dress before walking inside. I feel awkward and naked when people can see my legs. Luckily it's a slower night for this place and I'm seated in a booth almost immediately.

The wait staff makes me feel as though girly dresses like this one aren't weird at all (but they're probably used to them) and their eyes stay on my face which makes me much more comfortable. I'd also recommend their vegetarian lasagna to anybody. I'm in the middle of my mint chocolate chip sundae when there's a loud crash from a few tables over.

"I'm so sorry, sir! Let me clean that up for you." That voice sounds _very_ familiar and I slowly look. No, it couldn't possibly be...

But the blond hair and the way he frantically tries to clean the pasta off the floor are a dead give away. I stare in disbelief before calling out "Christopher?"

He stops his task and looks up at me, equally shocked. "Helena?"

I giggle and shake my head, the realization dawning on me. "I am going to _kill_ my dad."

He rolls his eyes. "Oh, really? That's funny, cause so am I."

I see a manager walk over and address him. "What happened _now_, Chris?"

"It's _'Christopher'_, sir," he responds in reflex and I see him immediately wince.

The manager looks from Christopher to the floor and gives an exasperated sigh. "Just...just go on your break, alright?"

He gives me another glance before saying a quick "Yes sir," and walking away.

I take out the money Dad gave me and try to calculate my bill, then decide to just put down all but what I might need for cab fare and leave without finishing my dessert.

I walk outside and after a bit of searching find him in a nearby alley standing outside a side door that reads 'employees only'.

He looks up from staring at his shoes and holds out his arms to me. "Hey, Monkey. Long time, no see." I accept the hug and as we step back he looks me up and down. "Wow, check you out." He makes a clicking sound with his mouth.

I slap him on the shoulder. "Shut up, you." But I can't help but smile. Christopher and a few of the men at the circus are the only I allow to flirt with me because I can tell exactly what they do or don't mean by it.

"Happy birthday. Sorry I don't have anything for you, but I wasn't exactly expecting us to bump into each other tonight." He fishes through his pocket, pulls out a cigarette, and lights it up.

I scrunch my nose in disgust. "When did you start smoking?"

He smirks and looks at the pack of Camel Turkish Jades in his hand. "About an hour after I started working here. God, I _hate_ this place."

"Well, it doesn't seem to like you very much either." I move upwind of the smoke and he shifts slightly so as not to blow it in my face. "What I don't understand is how you can juggle flaming batons fifteen times a week for almost a year and _not_ be able to balance a tray. How do you still have a job?"

He smacks his lips in thought, then a suggestive smile creeps onto his face. "Maybe the owner has the hots for me." A very 'Christopher' thing to say. He's not one to try and get by in life depending solely on looks, but once in a while he's more than happy to take advantage of the perks they give. He takes another drag before adding "I still have no idea _why_ your dad fired me. I mean, we were the best act in the show!"

"Well, I'm sure there would be people who'd disagree with that," I tease. Although I have to admit, we were a better team than Dad and I. Nothing against Dad, it was just Christopher and I..._worked _better together.

"That's because they don't know what they're talking about."

We share a laugh before falling into a silence. I bite my lip and consider my options before coming out with "I could tell you why Dad fired you...but you'd probably laugh."

He gives me his full attention. "Any reason is better than no reason. Go on, try me."

I sigh and try to think of how I can possibly start this story. "It's because he found a boy who looked like you in my room."

His eyes widen in surprise before he gives me a joking smile. "I always knew you had a wild side, Monkey."

"No, not like that!" I go to make a frustrated gesture before stopping myself. I've been spending _way_ too much time with the current subject of conversation. "We're just friends."

"Well, that's too bad. On the other hand, it means I still have you all to myself." He shoots me a cheeky wink and rests an arm on my shoulder. "So how did you manage to sneak him past the rest of the carnies?"

"He comes in through my mirror."

I hear him take a slow inhale and feel him staring at me. "..._What_?"

"He lives in my drawings and comes to visit me through my mirror. There's this special mask you see, and it lets you travel between the worlds through windows. So I drew a window on my mirror and out he came. And he looks and sounds like you, so Dad got the two of you mixed up. And knowing what a pervert you can be, what was he supposed to think?"

More silence. Then a slow chuckle which turns into a full on laugh. "You've been reading too many fairy tales."

I step away and roll eyes at him. "Y'know, I'd really hoped that at least _you_ would believe me." With that I head back to road and hail a cab.

"Oh, come on! I mean, that's mad!" Suddenly I hear the humor leave his voice. "Helena? Love, don't be that way..." He starts to plead with me. "Aww, Monkey..." I refuse to look back and I don't hear him make a move to follow me as a cab pulls up and I get in. Without a word of goodbye, I'm heading home. I try to ignore the tears in my eyes.

And until not too long ago, I thought nothing could go wrong.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: I know. I did the cake thing in my other story. Just go with it, it's cute. Also our favorite boy returns :-D.

---

I trudge dejectedly back through the line of trailers. The show is in full swing which means everybody's still too busy making everything run smoothly and trying to find ways to buy time for any acts of mine they didn't properly prepare to replace. It's just fine by me because I don't really want them to know I'm back yet. Except for the muffled cheers of the crowd, the place is absolutely silent.

I check my watch as I'm approaching my trailer. 7:30 PM. I've got another two hours or so until the performance is over. It'll allow me some alone time to sort myself out.

Then I heard a loud bump come from inside the trailer, followed by a crash and some frustrated mumbling. I stare for a minute or so before running over and opening the door.

I'm greeted by the site of Valentine standing in the middle of my room with a large dish in his arms. On it sits a cake covered in chocolate icing and decorated with strawberries. There are random splotches of chocolate all over him. He notices I'm staring and looks down for a moment bashfully before holding out the gift in presentation. "Um...surprise!"

I look from him to the cake and back a few times before daring to ask "Did you...make that for me?"

"Hmm?" He cocks his head to the side slightly before answering "No, no. I mean, I _tried_ to make one, but..." he sets it down on the bed, then pulls out two paper plates and forks and gestures to his icing and batter covered clothes "it didn't end too well. Don't really wanna talk about it. So I bought this one."

"It looks delicious." I sit down on my bed and carefully fold my legs under myself, once again all too aware of what I'm wearing. "Thank you so much."

"Ah, it's no big deal." He waves it off as he sits next to me, pulls a small knife from his pocket, and starts to cut the confectionery into slices. "It's red velvet. I hope that's okay, I sort of didn't look at the flavor until I'd bought it cause the strawberries just seemed...well, I don't know."

I see that the inside of the cake is indeed an almost maroon color. "That's perfect, I love red velvet." I accept the plate he hands me and set it down to my right, waiting politely until he's served himself.

Despite the fact that I can't see his eyes through the ever-present mask, I swear I can sense them shifting from me to the cake every now and then. "Helena, you look...really pretty. I mean," he now looks straight at me and cocks his head again playfully "you _are_ Helena, right?"

I put on a fake pout at his question. "Be quiet."

This earns me a chuckle and he shakes his head, adding softly. "Honestly, though...you look lovely." Then he continues in his usual volume. "But if you start dressing like that all the time I _will_ start to believe you're just someone in a very clever disguise."

I know I'm blushing now and I look down at my plate before responding with a quiet "Thank you."

He smiles and turns to his plate, wiggling his fingers excitedly. "Well, let's eat!"

I stop him just as he's about to dig in. "God, look at you. You look ridiculous with that chocolate on your face." I decline to add that the chocolate on his robe and shirt look equally ridiculous as I lick my thumb and lean over to wipe off his cheek. At first, he scrunches up his face like a stubborn child and bats away my hand. But when I reach over a second time he makes no move to stop me.

The spot of icing is almost gone when I stop, still touching his cheek, and realize that neither of us is moving. He looks at me again, mouth parted slightly, and time freezes as my eyes move from his cheek, to his lips, up to the eye holes of his mask. Again neither of us dares to move, and he's close to me, so close as I lick my lips nervously and something washes over me. Fear? Anticipation? I'm not sure. He moves closer still, but I can't tell if he's just shifting under my gaze or leaning in. I decide to close my eyes and whatever happens, happens.

The moment is interrupted by a sudden 'splat!'. I look down to see Valentine sprawled across the bed, his right arm now completely covered in icing. Apparently, cake makes a much better slide than a hand rest.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding before I feel myself giggling...then laughing...which builds up to a complete guffaw. I fall over next to him, clutching my stomach and pointing at him. "Oh, my god! You...you're so...!" I manage to get out between chuckles.

He looks down at his arm and cringes. "Aww, bloody hell." He tries to lick his elbow clean, causing me to laugh even harder, then throws his arms at his side in surrender when he realizes he catch reach. Now he gives me a pouty look before a mischievous smile forms on his mouth.

Before I can react, he wipes a glob of the mess off with his finger and smears it on my nose. I stare at him in shock before grabbing a small chunk of cake and rubbing it into his shirt. He retaliates by taking his entire slice and dropping it onto my head. I sit up and glare down at him before slowly grinning and reaching for more ammunition. "That's it, you're _dead_!"

He grabs the serving tray and scrambles across the room, ducking my shot just in time. The fight continues until we're both a complete mess and we collapse onto the bed again, not caring that neither one of us actually ate a single bite. "You've _really _got to work on your aim, Smiles."

"Look who's talking! You only got me when I wasn't moving!"

"A very _minor_ detail," he retorts, sitting up and starting to clean.

"You don't have to do that..." I start to stand before he holds his hand out in front of me.

"Stop right there. You won't be cleaning up a thing, Birthday Girl." He reaches down, pulls the blanket and sheets out from under me (nearly making me fall off the bed), and tosses them in a corner. Then he makes his away around and picks up all the stray bits of cake, dumping them in the waste basket and brushing his hands together before sticking them in his pockets. "You look like you need a shower."

"You're not any better, you know." I stand up and reach to rub some of the sugary paste a little deeper into his hair.

"Guess that means I should be going, then. You're probably all worn out from having too much fun."

He grabs the mirrormask and is about to put it before I grab his arm. "Valentine?" His face perks up in question. "Thanks again. Really. This was the best birthday ever."

He smiles and gives his too familiar shrug. "I do my best." He looks down at his feet, seeming to be having a debate with himself.

Then without warning, he leans over and for a moment so small I almost swear I imagine it, his lips brush very, _very_ gently against mine. "Goodnight," he adds quickly and before I can move again, he's gone.

I stare at the mirror and blink a few times, listening to the sound of my own heart pounding in my ears. I bring two fingers to my mouth and rest them there, marveling at how the feeling of that brief softness still lingers in my mind.

I take a deep breath and hold it a while before letting it out. Time to go get cleaned up.

He doesn't leave my thoughts for the rest of the night.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: Yes, I know. It's _really_ short. The only explanation I can give is that it didn't _want_ to be any longer. I think it works. At least, I hope.

---

"Stupid, stupid,_ stupid_!" I nod my head violently with each repeat of the word as if hitting it against a wall. Which I _would_ be doing if I didn't know it would just make the Tower angry at me again. It doesn't like being hit, even if it is just with my empty skull.

My heart echoes in my ears, seeming to beat out a song. It fills me with a strange combination of euphoria and dread. I fall to the floor next to my bed, using it as a sort of backrest. I feel like every time I think of her I end up on the ground, as if the lower I get the easier it is to think clearly anymore.

Her lips tasted sweet, like peppermints. I've always loved those and for a moment I wonder if that's just one more reason to...

I can't _believe_ I'm having thoughts like this. But one after the other they flood through my head. Every time her smile made my breath catch in my throat, how beautiful (_beautiful_? When did I start associating that word with her?) she looks when she sleeps, how every time I see a single tear in her eyes a part of me inside dies (wait...that rhymes. Great, now I'm _sounding_ like horrible poetry!)...they all flash through my mind.

I want it to stop.

"Aww, hell." I can't believe I did it without thinking about the consequences. And now I'm filled with a fear that may have seemed completely irrational were the circumstances different, but all things considered it makes perfect sense. "She hates me...she'll hate me...it'll make her hate me." I pound a fist on my knee in frustration. "You_ git_!"

I hear a door slam somewhere in the distance and I slump my shoulders exasperatedly. "Not _you_."

I lift myself up, but only long enough to fall backwards onto the bed. As I stare through the window above me, I wonder why I'm so afraid of what might happen. I mean, it's not like I hurt her or anything.

Or maybe that's it. Maybe I _did_ hurt her, just not physically. She never seemed to like all that 'gross, romantic stuff' as she calls it, and she stayed away from it at all costs because she refuses to belong to anyone. And an hour ago I was different from all those men who might want to give her boxes of candy or tell her they've seen her in their dreams because I wasn't trying to make her _mine_.

But I did try. Just the slightest bit, I tried. And now I'm like all the others.

I roll onto my side as a final thought floats through my brain before sleep takes over: maybe, just _maybe_ it was alright of me to try and make her mine. Because I am, totally and completely, _hers_.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Too tired to think of anything to put here. Just...read it.

---

The slight tapping on my door is just enough to rouse me from a dreamless sleep. I rub my eyes and look down to realize I fell asleep in my dress. I jump up and scramble to change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before calling out "It's unlocked!"

The door opens a crack and a pair of cautious eyes look through. Coming to the conclusion that it is indeed safe, it opens completely and Christopher steps in, one arm behind his back. He gives me small smile. "Hey, Monkey."

I return it. "Hey." I wait patiently for him to continue, knowing him far too well not to realize that that's not all he wants to say.

He sighs and I use that as a cue to give my full attention. "Listen...I'm sorry for being such an ass before. I actually missed you a lot and...well, I got these for you." He presents a small bouquet of bright flowers and looks at me with hope. "Forgive me?"

I realize I can't stay mad and accept the peace offering. "Yeah, I forgive you_...this _time." I bite my lip as I try not to laugh at his cheeky grin. "They're very nice, thank you."

"You think so?" He runs a hand through his hair and goes on, not quite looking at me. "I mean, the lady at the shop told me they were really popular this year and-"

I interrupt his story and give him a sideways glance. "You picked them on your way here, didn't you?"

He looks down at his shoes, defeated. "Yeah, I did." I chuckle and sit down on the bed, motioning for him to join me.

He puts an arm around me as I set the flowers aside carefully. "So how've you been, ay?"

I shrug. "Oh, you know. The usual: ups and downs."

"Life's really that boring without me?" I give him another small laugh and nod. Then he notices the sheets in the corner and gives me a confused look. "Just what have you been doing, little miss?"

"Oh, that's from the cake fight I had with Val..." I trail off, remembering the last time I mentioned Valentine in my present company.

"Ahhh." He shifts to face me, a wicked smile on his face. "Who's that, your boyfriend? Did some bloke swipe you off your feet while I was away? Sneaky bastard."

"He's not my boyfriend." I look at the floor, my locker, my sketchbook, anything other than Christopher. I know I must be redder than paint.

"Oh, no? Cause I think I know that look, and I could swear that _that_" he places a hand on my cheek and turns my head so I'm facing him "is the look of a girl who is utterly infatuated. Though this is the first time I've seen it when I wasn't the topic of conversation."

I decide the only way to stop the teasing is to tease back. "You must have the definition of 'infatuation' confused with 'repulsion' then, if _you've_ seen it so much."

He gives me puppy dog eyes and looks crestfallen. "You're so mean to me." But just like that, it's forgotten again. Despite how he may seem, Christopher is not so easily distracted. "So tell me about him." And just like that, he's rattling off questions. "Does he tell you how pretty you are every day like he should? How old is he? How did you meet him?" He continues with a pained voice. "Is he a better juggling partner than I am? Go on, give it to me straight! I can take it!"

I take the opening when I see it and choose my words carefully so he doesn't get the wrong (but is it actually wrong? I don't know anymore) idea. "Okay, first of all I told you he wasn't my boyfriend so no, he doesn't tell me I'm pretty _every_ day."

"But he _does_ tell you you're pretty." Darn. I decide try answering one of the safer questions.

"Sorry to break your heart, but he _is_ a better juggler than you." He sighs dramatically, so I add a consoling fact. "He's been doing it longer, though." Let's see, another safe one..."He's twenty-one, but I've known him almost two years now."

"Woah, wait. Two_ years_? And you've led me on all this time _why_?" I ignore his playful flirting and go to the answer I've been dreading.

"And I tried to tell you how I met him before...but you wouldn't listen."

Neither of us speaks. Then he asks yet another question. "Is this that mirror thing again?"

"Yeah. See?" I point to the picture drawn around my mirror. "I drew that so he could visit and I'd know where he'd be showing up.

He looks at the ink for a minute. "Well, you know what that means, don't you Monkey?"

"What?"

"It means" he turns to me again "that the disease has spread to your brain" he pokes me in the side of my head "and we're gonna have to put you down."

I bat his hand away and try to glare, but my mouth keeps pulling into a smile. "You still don't believe me, then?"

He pulls me a bit closer, then gives me a quick kiss on the top of my head. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Well, have you got anything to do today?" I grin mischievously.

"Actually, no. It's my day off. Why?"

I bite my lip and look from side to side. "I'll bet you ten quid he shows up today."


	16. Chapter 16

AN: Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. Thanks to goldeone for getting this song stuck in my head and making me realize how great it would be to wake up to. And to Tessa for being such an awesome reader and fan. I (heart) you.

---

_The wind is low, the birds will sing  
That you are part, of everything  
Dear Prudence, won't you open up your eyes?_

For a change, the music gently pulls me out of sleep instead of rudely jarring me into consciousness and I slowly blink myself awake. "Well, at least you're learning tact," I mumble to my surroundings as I reach my arms above my head, stretch, and let out a lion of a yawn before leaping to my feet.

I try to work some kinks out of my joints as I walk downstairs. I slept curled into a tiny ball and now I feel sore all over. I wonder why I'd do something silly like that? It wasn't cold or anything last night.

_Look around, round, round  
Round, round  
Look around, round, round  
Round, round_

Just as this thought is entering my head, I look to my side to realize I'm walking past _that_ window. Oh. That's right...because I'm an idiot.

All at once my mind starts spinning again and I pace in front of Helena's window. "Should I go? I should go..._should_ I go? I should...I _should_ stop talking to myself is what I _should _do." During one of the laps past, I grab the mirrormask from the little hook I placed next to the window frame (not the safest place, I know, but the Tower knows better than to let just anybody in here) and stare at it, still pacing.

"I mean, come on. She's not going to be mad at you or anything. Probably. Maybe." I stop and look at the window again.

I've got an idea. "It won't hurt to look, though. Just a peak. What harm can that do?" I roll my shoulders a few times and steel myself before bringing the mask just in front of my face.

She's awake at least. And she doesn't look upset. In fact, she looks rather happy, which is enough to make me let out a sigh of relief. But then I notice something: she's not alone.

"Who the _bloody hell_ is _he_?!" Why does she keep giggling when he talks? Why does he keep touching her face like that? And exactly _why_ are they sitting there looking all comfy-cozy?

The moment I see him press his lips to her hair my mouth pulls up in a snarl. That's _it_. I flex the muscles in my fingers and let out a shuddering breath, bringing myself down to a calm yet white hot anger before I slam the mask onto my face.

She screams in surprise when she sees me appear out of the blue. Then he sees me and screams_ louder_ which makes him sound like a girl. It almost makes me laugh. _Almost_.

Then she points at me triumphantly and yells "_Ha_! You saw it, now _pay up_!"

Pretty-boy-with-the-hairdo speaks again. "He just came though your bleeding mirror!"

"I told you he would!" I lean back against the wall and fold my arms, realizing they're not even paying attention to me anymore.

"Did you hire a new illusionist while I was gone?" He looks at her as he poses the question, looking a lot more confused than scared now.

"Oh please, like I'd go through the trouble to set up my trailer for something like that just to play a trick on you?"

"You have done stranger things."

"Christopher!"

It's when she leans over and starts poking him in the sides of his stomach that I make myself known again by clearing my throat. _Loudly_. When they both turn to me again I ask coldly "Am I interrupting something?"

She immediately recognizes the tone of voice as '_not_ good' and lets out a small, nervous laugh before answering "Um...no, Valentine. We were just...having a little bet on whether or not you were real."

I tilt my head, but much more slowly than when I'm being my usual curious self with her. "So this is a game, then?"

Now she looks utterly baffled. "What?"

"I'm a game to you."

"No!" She stands up and gets closer to me. "What are you even talking about?"

I point to whiny man in the corner who is looking back and forth between myself and Helena, still in shock. "What's he doing in your room?"

"He's just visiting to apologize to me! Is that okay?"

"No, it's not!"

"_Why_?" She throws out her arms, getting noticeably angry now. "You hang around here all the time!"

"That's _different_!" I look away now, knowing full well that the rest of this conversation is going to make very little sense to either of us.

"How? How is having_ one_ best friend in my room" she gestures to one side "different from having _another_ here?" then the other side.

I hold my hands out toward her. "It just _is_!" She lets out a sarcastic laugh as I continue. "God, you...you make _no_ sense whatsoever!"

Now she glares at me as she points to herself. "Oh, _I'm_ the one who doesn't make sense? You're the one who does..." she searches for the word "_weird_ things and then pretends like they didn't happen!"

I stick my hands in my pockets and lower my voice again. "I don't know what you mean."

"See? There it is! I _know_ that you know exactly what I mean, but there you are denying it!" She grabs my arm and forces me to look at her again. "You can't just_ do_ something like that and not expect anything to change!"

I know that. I _know_ that. I'm just not sure the change that happens won't be one that crushes me.

"Um...excuse me," Helena and I look over to the long forgotten presence in the corner "but this is _really_ awkward. Kind of like Dad hitting Mum at Christmas dinner, but we're all still trying to eat." He offers a nervous smile with his unconventional attempt to break the tension.

She's right. Put a mask on him and it'd be like looking in a mirror. He even has my voice. It makes me hate him even more.

"You just shut up!" He rolls his eyes at me and starts flipping through a book he's grabbed from the floor, clearly feeling very out of place in this situation. I turn back to Helena, run my fingers through my hair, and let out a frustrated groan. "The hell with this!" I stalk to the door and as I'm storming out call back "And the hell with _you_, too!"

I slam it behind me and go a few more steps before stopping and wonder for a moment if I've just ruined everything. I look through her window just in time to see the shade being pulled down violently. God, I really am a jerk, aren't I? But I only care about that for a moment, letting myself be pulled back into anger.

Then I realize something that hadn't occurred to me before I went outside. My only way home is back in the room I just left...

Bollocks.


	17. Chapter 17

AN: Getting toward the end now. Next chapter will probably be the last unless I can think of an epilogue. Hope I make it worth your while :)

---

It's been two hours. I've paced back and forth, sat down, stood up, and even tried juggling a bit before realizing angrily that all it does for me anymore is remind me of _her_. I sit on the ground yet again and start drumming my fingers on my knees.

I am..._excruciatingly_ bored.

But the one thing I refuse, outright _refuse_ to do is go back in there. Not after the scene I made earlier. I look back at her window for what must be the hundredth time and sigh when I see the shade still covering it. I really let her have it, and for what?

Because of that stupid doppleganger of mine. Him and his stupid flowers and _my_ smile and _my _accent.

But the worst part about him is...he _is_ like me. Just more. More cheeky, more affectionate, more _calm_. Most importantly, though, more..._here_. He can show up whenever he likes and just _stay_ forever without jeopardizing a single thing by having to explain who he was or how the only reason he existed at all was because a bored little girl had drawing supplies (from his earlier reaction, I assume that's not commonplace in this world). Or having to say goodbye to everything else he knew.

One day, she may realize that. That while we can visit all we want, neither of us can ever _stay_ without leaving our entire lives behind. And while there's not too much going on for me in my world that'd I'd miss too much (although I do _like_ being an important man and having a Tower)...how could I ever stay_ here_? Would I just make up some story about my childhood. 'I'm an orphan (not untrue anyway, but still), I grew up in (insert town name here)' but then not know anyone who lives there? No one would ever buy it.

So the reasonable thing, the _logical_ thing for her to do, would be to just take the easy road. Go with the bloke who's just as real to everybody else as he is to her. In the long run, that'll be the best for all involved, won't it? And it's not like it's all _that_ important to me anyway. Whatever makes her happy, right?

Even as these thoughts enter my head, I know I could never be able to brush the last two years of my life, _our_ lives, off like they were nothing. Every day spent laughing, having fun, crying (well, that was just her) together. Just the thought of not having that again makes that ache in my chest that's becoming way too familiar hurt more than it ever has before.

But I'm not afraid she'll be reasonable. I'm not scared of being forgotten. I'm not even terrified that even if she does forget me, I'll never care about anyone this much again. And those definitely _aren't_ tears stinging my eyes right now...

I wonder absently how much of my life I've actually spent trying to fool myself as I let out a shuddering breath and bring my hands up to cover my masked face.

Suddenly I hear the door to the trailer open and I quickly shift my hands to make it seem as if I'm merely trying to massage out a headache and thank god my eyes aren't visible before looking up to see who it is.

I glare when I realize it's not who I expected. Then again, right now I think he's the one I'd rather see.

He steps cautiously towards me. He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it and takes a moment to think before trying again. "So...do you exist because I do, or do I exist because you do?"

"How the hell should_ I_ know?" Just because he seems to be the safer of the two right now doesn't mean I have to be nice to him.

"Right, then." He sits down next to me, then reaches into his pocket. I see him pull out a strange little stick, put it in his mouth, then light the other end on fire.

"Did you just..." I cock my head to the side, completely dumbfounded "stick something in your mouth and then burn it?"

"Yeah." I see him exhale a trail of smoke. "That's what you do with these things, mac."

"That's _bizarre_."

"Decidedly less bizarre than a man who lives in windows." He flashes me that cheeky grin I hate.

"First of all, I don't live _in_ windows," I draw a window in the air with my fingers. "They're just how I get back and forth. There's a whole other world over on my side. In fact, over there _I'm_ a very important man. I've got a Tower, you know."

"Yeah, I know. She told me."

"Did she?"

"Well, what did you think we'd been doing for two hours?" He flicks the ashes of that..._thing_ to the ground before breathing more of it in. "Snogging?"

I nearly drop the 'reluctant indifference' act right then and there and just smack him about the face. Instead I settle for a warning. "Don't even joke about that."

He looks at me with a combination of disbelief and amusement. "Are you _really_ that insecure?"

No sense lying to this one. We can probably smell each other's lies a mile away. "Wouldn't you be?"

His expression changes to one of concern (great, he's _nicer_ than me, too). "I guess I see your point. I _am_ irresistible." Okay, maybe not. Another exhale of that stuff that gives a weird cold feeling of mint to my nose but makes me want to cough every time I smell it. A more awkward silence then I've ever had in my life. Then "You know, I've never seen her this upset before. You really got to her."

"Good." I fold my arms in defiance.

"No, it's not. And you don't really feel it is, either." It really isn't fair, meeting another version of yourself. It makes you feel like cellophane.

I shoot him another glare. "I _really_ hate you."

He just smiles again. "No, you don't."

"I hate that you're right."

He shrugs his shoulders. "Okay, I'll give you that."

I start to pick at the grass around me and wait for him to keep talking, because _I_ sure as hell don't have anything to say to him.

"You should just tell her how you feel. It'd make everything a lot easier."

I continue making little piles of uprooted plants and act uninterested. "Tell her how I feel about what?"

"Oh, please! It's as clear as day! Besides, _no_ man kisses a girl like Helena without meaning something by it, and if you did I'll just save myself the trouble and kill you now." His tone is joking, but I can tell that there's a lot of truth to the last part. I feel flustered suddenly, just knowing that she told him about _that_. But before I can make a comment, he continues. "And I'll tell you something: you _really_ don't have to worry about me."

I look up at him again. "What?"

"You heard me. Don't get me wrong," he tosses the strange burning thing (I'm guessing it's some sort of incense, but why anyone would want to_ breathe_ it still escapes me) to the ground and replaces it with another "Helena's a wonderful girl and I love her to death, but being with her would be like being with my sister or something, you know? Besides, she's too young for me."

"But..." I gesture from myself to him "_we're_ the same age."

He rolls his eyes at me. "Not in _here_, we're not." He pokes the side of my head. "You act like a damn child anyway."

I sigh, my shoulders feeling a lot lighter all of the sudden. "So what does that mean?"

"It means you should go in there" he points to the door "and tell the nice girl you're sorry before she starts floating in her own tears!"

I feel a sting in my heart, knowing I made her cry. But I shake my head at his suggestion. "No. I can't do that."

"And why the hell not?" He gives me a shove on my shoulder. "Too proud and stubborn?"

"Actually, for once, no." I stare down at my hands and twiddle my thumbs. "Just because I go in there and apologize doesn't mean she'll forgive me. It wouldn't make anything unhappen."

"So, what then?"

I stand up and start pacing again. "I need to do something spectacular! Something that makes her smile, something that-"

He interrupts. "That makes her understand for just a moment how you feel every time you're with her?"

I pause for a moment to agree, but then brush it off. "No, that's not possible."

"You'd be surprised at how little of a stretch it might be for her." Does this guy_ ever_ stop smiling? "You two have a lot more in common than juggling." He flicks more burnt remains to the ground as he mimics the aforementioned act.

I stop in my tracks and stare at him, imagining flaming batons flying back and forth between his hands. Then I snap my fingers and clap my hands together. "I've got it."

"Already? Maybe I haven't been giving you enough credit." He raises a surprised eyebrow at me and tosses his second mouth-stick to the ground.

I laugh and gesture to our colorful surroundings. Why hadn't it occurred to me before? "We're at a _circus_, for god's sake!" I nod enthusiastically at him, which only earns me a very confused stare. I shake my head and pretend I didn't hear his last comment. First things first though."Look, you don't like me and I don't like you."

He pouts pathetically at me. "I like you. I thought we were passed all that."

I make an emphatic shrug of my shoulders. "Oh, _whatever_! That's not important anymore. I'm gonna need some favors from you." I start to drum my fingers together and make a tally in my head of just what all I might have at my disposal.

"Name it and it's done." There's an intensity in his face now that wasn't before. Perhaps I can depend on him after all.

I grin at him for the first time since we've met. "You know everyone here, right? You can talk to them, get them in on it, too." I wave my finger at him, the plan coming to fruition in my mind.

"Oooh, I like where this is going." He looks at me attentively.

I start to count off the options in my head. "Get jugglers, fire-eaters, whatever. I'll work with it. And..." I stop and bite my lip, searching for that one last detail to make it come together.

"What?" He asks anxiously. I could get used to this one yet. Clearly a romantic.

I put a hand on his shoulder and smirk. "Can you sing?"


	18. Chapter 18

I squint my eyes, take a careful aim, and toss the last tear-soaked tissue at the wastebasket. As it lands inside I tally it in my head. I'm up to eight points now. I half-smile for a second before going back to what I had been doing before: staring at the floor and forcing myself to take slow, shuddering breaths so as not to hyperventilate.

I haven't left the trailer once today, not even to go eat. I don't feel hungry. I don't feel much of _anything_ at the moment. Well, except for that sharp, stabbing pain throughout my entire being. And the nearly blinding fury. But both of those come and go, leaving me otherwise numb.

Then I hear someone rap out 'shave and a haircut' on my door. I only know one person who does that. "I'm not coming out, Pingo. Tell Dad I'm not feeling well and I won't be doing the show tonight." His strange whistle followed by some more knocking. "I don't care if you've made your 'famous' stew for supper, I'm not hungry."

It's quiet again for a moment. Then another whistle, this one a little quieter than the other. I sigh as I go to open the door. "Alright, _fine_. But just because you asked nicely." I step outside to see him already in full make-up and costume. Actually, after all the years I've known him I still find it strange to see him without it.

He points to me, then makes some strange gestures above his head. I'm starting to get impatient, but decide to humor him. "Yes, I trust you Pingo, now what is it?" Now he moves behind me and covers my eyes, guiding me away. "You know, this is very familiar..."

We continue like this for a few minutes until our pace gets gradually slower. I hear some familiar voices whispering as we approach.

"Alright, people, it's go time! Places, places!"

"Okay, everybody ready? One...two...one, two, three, four!"

Right on the four, Pingo uncovers my eyes and I take in the amazing site before me.

_"Woah-oh-oh-oh  
For the longest time  
Woah-oh-oh  
For the longest"_

Christopher is wearing his old costume and standing across from Dad, tossing batons back and forth with ease. Filling out the middle are two performers balancing on giant balls. Eric is across from Christopher and Dad, his usual violin replaced with an old bass guitar, and plucking out a simple beat. They're all singing back-up.

And standing in front of them all, singing the lead, is my Valentine.

_"If you said goodbye to me tonight  
There would still be music left to write  
What else could I do?  
I'm so inspired by you  
That hasn't happened for the longest time"_

I cover my mouth in awe and glance over at Pingo, who gives me an enthusiastic nod and two thumbs up, before returning my gaze to the elaborate show in front of me.

_"Once I thought my innocence was gone  
Now I know that happiness goes on  
That's where you found me  
When you put your arms around me  
I haven't been there for the longest time_

_I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall  
And the greatest miracle of all  
Is how I need you  
And how you needed me, too  
That hasn't happened for the longest time"_

My eyes move rapidly amongst the group of them, trying to catch every detail of the performance. Christopher and Dad start tossing the batons over their shoulders and under their legs, all the while making hand gestures at key moments in the vocals. The balancing act add hula hoops to their arms. And Eric...well, doesn't add much in the way of movement, but the music is still very beautiful.

_"Maybe this won't last very long  
But you feel so right  
And I could be wrong  
Maybe I've been hoping to hard  
But I've gone this far  
And it's more than I hoped for"_

_Who knows how much further we'll go on  
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone  
I'll take my chances  
I forgot how nice romance is  
I haven't been there for the longest time"_

Valentine is looking straight at me the entire time, making gestures with the lyrics like some a cappella group's lead tenor. I let out an impulsive chuckle, feeling tears stinging my eyes again. Only this time, there isn't anything sad or angry about them. He starts moving slowly towards me, never breaking his gaze.

_"I had second thoughts at the start  
I said to myself  
Hold on to your heart  
Now I know the woman that you are  
You're wonderful so far  
And it's more than I hoped for"_

Now he's right in front of me, and my heart tries to break out of my chest as he puts his arms around me and pulls me close for the final verse.

_"I don't care what consequence it brings  
I have been a fool for lesser things  
I want you so bad  
I think you ought to know that  
I intend to hold you for the longest time"_

He smiles at me as the others' voices get gradually softer, simulating a fade-out. "Helena?"

"Uh huh?" I respond and nod dumbly, too taken with the moment to be embarrassed by almost forgetting how to speak.

He studies my face and carefully brushes a lock of hair out of my eyes before continuing in a whisper. "I've been keeping a secret from you."

"What's that?"

I barely register the sound of clapping and cheering as he leans in slowly and I feel his lips press against mine. Only unlike last night, which was quick and impulsive, there's slow, gentle but passionate movement. And it's not until it's over that I realize I was too shocked to react at all.

He pulls away slightly and touches his masked forehead to the skin of mine. His mouth tugs into a slight smile before going serious again and he tells me in a tone even quieter than before "...I love you."

I used to think it silly when people said they were so happy they felt like they could fly. Even more so after I'd glided over the world with the monkeybirds and I knew exactly how wonderful it felt to experience being in the air with no feeling of impending doom; just miles and miles of beauty all around. I realize that I just hadn't understood what they meant until now, because not even flying could compare to this.

I see that smile appear and disappear a few more times as he waits for my reaction. Just as he's starting to look fearful I stand on my toes and now it's his turn to be frozen when I surprise him with my own kiss. But then he moves his lips against mine, a bit more forcefully than before. And it's beautiful and perfect and all those other words that I never really knew the meaning of before.

I grin as I hear the tiniest whimper come from his throat when I break our mouths apart and grace him with a few more pecks before putting my feet fully on the ground again.

I see that grin that never stops amazing me cover his features. "So can I take that as a 'me too'?"

I giggle at his words and say the first thing that comes to mind. "Always."

A suddenly cry of "Get a room!" brings our attention back to the others just in time to see Dad smack Christopher upside the head. As he gingerly rubs the wound, he looks up at my Dad with puppy dog eyes. "Does this mean you won't hire me back, Mr. Campbell?"

Dad shoots him a stern look. "Not until you tell me exactly what you meant by that."

Christopher sighs and rubs his face. "Oh, god...didn't think we'd ever have _this_ conversation." He puts an arm around my father and starts guiding him away, signaling for the others to follow. As they disappear to the other side of the camp I hear him say "You see, when a man and woman are in love-"

He is quickly interrupted by an angry cry of "Stop being a smart ass!"

I look down and draw circles with my toe, feeling very embarrassed by the comments. I glance at Valentine and notice him bitting his lip and shoving his hands in his pockets, trying very hard to hide that they've clearly made him feel just as awkward.

"So..." I try to start before he cuts me off.

"Right, then!" He grabs my hand and starts quickly leading me away. "Blondie's here already, so your dad has a juggling partner for the night."

I struggle to keep up with his longer strides. "Wait...where are we going?!"

"To a room," he tells me simply, and I blush before he adds "One with a mask that'll take us to a world with a flying Tower."

I shake my head, still confused and a little overwhelmed at our new situation. "Okay...and then where?"

He comes to a dead stop and I almost bump into him just like the last time I was following him around. He looks back and me and gives a lovely smile. "Does it matter?"

I return it, squeezing his hand before replying "No...it really doesn't."

---

AN: Alright, folks. That's it, unless I decide to do an epilogue. Haven't made up my mind yet. Anyway, the song I used, The Longest Time, belongs to Billy Joel and not me. I had the idea for this scene in my head since day one, and it actually originally comes from long before I saw MirrorMask. My friends and I used to play a game where we'd go around and list cute, thoughtful, or (any other good adjective we could think of) things guys could do for us that would make us go "that's it, I'm his forever". One of my favorites that I came up with was "he tells me he loves me by getting a group of his friends together and singing this song to me."

Many, many, _many_ thanks to those of you who reviewed. And to those of you who might have been waiting until the end...well, now's the time! Maybe now I'll actually start sleeping at night again instead of staying up, writing, and getting four hours of sleep before work in the afternoon :p


	19. Epilogue

AN: Dear god...this one fought me kicking and screaming for the past ten days, but then suddenly just came together last night. It's funny how sometimes I just need to be given one or two good ideas for the whole thing to come together. Thanks, hon :). Anyways, I hope you enjoy and leave me lots of pretty reviews! P.S. Frou-Frou is a term from The Scarlet Pimpernel. It refers to something that's "silly and frilly, but not really necessary" (it's also an awesome band, but that doesn't really apply here). I thought it suited our favorite boy :p

---

_Cheer up, sleepy Jean  
Oh, what can it mean  
To a daydream believer  
And a homecoming queen?_

I open my eyes groggily as the quiet music awakens me like a pleasant whisper. I have to say, I'm getting to like greeting the day this way. Especially on days like this when the first thing my mind registers is the small body curled into mine. Her face is tucked up against my chest, tickling me ever so slightly with her breath. I still don't understand how she can sleep through the noise every morning. Then again, perhaps I'm just more easily distracted out of sleep than her.

I study her for a moment, absolutely loving the way she practically swims in my shirt. I start placing gentle kisses on her; first her forehead, then her cheek, and finally on her neck which causes her to stir.

She lets out a sleepy groan."That's _really_ not fair."

I bite back an amused laugh before leaning in and whispering against her lips. "Good morning."

"No." She protests childishly, burying her head against my shoulder. This is not unexpected. Sometimes I wonder if she's really that little of a morning person or if she just enjoys being this close as much as I do.

So I do what I always do. I start commanding her, while peppering her head and shoulder with tiny kisses. "Wake up...wake up...wake up...wake up."

And she, as _she_ always does, pulls herself up lazily and rubs the sleep out of her eyes. "Alright, alright!" Then she stands and signals for me to turn around while she gets dressed.

I comply, somewhat reluctantly. "Why don't you just wear my shirt all day?"

Some chuckles and the shuffling of clothes. "I hardly think that's decent."

"Oh, please! You used to walk around in just your jammies. At least my clothes are _real_ clothes." I turn to look at her while I'm speaking, forgetting for a moment, and am immediately greeted with a red shirt to the face. I stare at it a moment before shrugging and pulling it over my head.

"Well," she reasons "right now, I have my own _real_ clothes and I want to wear them." I hear a zipper being pulled up before she adds "Okay, you can look again."

"I just think you look better in my clothes, that's all."

She scoffs and replies "Well, maybe you'd look better in my clothes. But I'm not gonna try and make you wear them."

I scrunch up my nose with disgust. "That'd be terrible. They'd never fit."

This earns me a smile and she walks back over to the bed. "Not exactly the point I was trying to make, Frou-Frou, but whatever works." Then she grabs my arm and tries to pull me up. "Here _you_ were the one all insistent on getting out of bed, and you're the one still in it."

I let myself go dead weight while she tries to make me stand. "You know how I love being difficult." I jump to my feet, causing her own momentum to throw her off balance, almost sending her crashing to the floor. I grab my robe off the hook on the wall and I'm halfway out the door before calling back "Right! Off we go!"

"But...wait!" I hear some shuffling and a half-stumble behind me. Her foot caught the sleeve of my dress robe...again. I _really_ should get that cleaned. She jogs up to my side just as I reach the main room. "Where are we going? Are you _finally_ taking me for breakfast?"

"That's right! A nice little cafe, over by the entertainment district. Well..." I stop as I search for the proper words "not exactly to eat breakfast there so much as 'get food and take it to eat elsewhere'...there." With that I throw open the front door and head purposefully to said cafe, Java the Hut. That name never sounded right to me. 'The Java Hut' or 'Hut o' Java' would make more sense. Then again, they don't even actually serve coffee, so none of those really work. Either way, their muffins are the best around, so why complain?

A few steps down the street she jumps onto my back, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. Without missing a beat I sling my own arms under her knees and carry her the rest of the way, only setting her on her feet again when we reach the shop entrance.

It's about 10:30 now. Too late (for most people) for breakfast and too early for lunch, so the place is empty except for one rather small man sitting in a corner with a Nietzsche book in one hand and a pencil in the other, scribbling furiously onto a napkin. There's a teardrop under the right eye hole of his mask. Helena refers to him as 'this world's only emo boy'.

I walk up to the counter and start pointing to random yummy things behind the rather stout owner. "I'd like a dozen of the chocolate chip cranberry muffins, two blueberry, five lemon poppy seed, and three banana." Now the smell of dark chocolate hits my nose and I quickly add "And a dozen of those little biscuits with the chocolate drizzled over. Oh! And two vanilla chais. That's all to go, please."

For a moment the man stares at me unmoving, jaw halfway to the floor. I stare back with an expectant smile. Then I adopt the 'I'm being serious, hand-on-hip' stance I've seen Helena make only too often. "Well? Hop to, I haven't got all day, you know!" With that, he turns around slowly and starts gathering the large order.

"Umm..." Helena gives me a questioning look, speaking up for the first time since we left. "Do we _really_ need all that?" I glance at her and blink a few times (she can't see it, but she _knows_) which makes her nod in understanding. "Right. Stupid question."

After another few minutes of silence, the owner plops a very large bag onto the counter. "Twenty-two fifty."

"Alright, then." I grab the bag and hand it to Helena. "There you go! Now, just wait outside, I'll be there in a minute." I turn her towards the door and give her an encouraging pat on the back.

"But...but we didn't..." She stammers for a bit, not catching on yet.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Now just run along, I'll be there before you know it." Reassured, she shrugs her shoulders and walks outside.

I turn back to the chubby man and whisper "I want this be a surprise. That croissant on the top shelf? Those are her absolute _favorite_. Could I get one in a _really_ small bag?"

He smiles at me (for the first time since I walked in, mind you. He _really_ has to work on his customer service) and as he turns and climbs a small ladder to reach the far away pastry, I see my window of opportunity.

One of the few good things about having an empty wallet is it's just that much less to weigh you down.

I dash past Helena, who looks from me to the door, confused. I stop a few paces ahead and advise her. "Run!"

"What?" She shakes her head at me, still very puzzled. "But...why are we-"

I cut her off and circle my hands together. "No time to explain! Less talk, more run!" I turn and begin sprinting away again, hearing her footsteps close behind.

I slow to a stop as we reach our next destination: a field filled with sunflowers and birds of paradise.

Helena catches up a few seconds later, bag of food still in her hands. She looks around at all the flowers, awe covering her face before being quickly replaced with an angry realization. "Did you just _steal_ all this?"

"No!" I turn to her and gesture between the two of us. "_We_ just stole it."

She glares at me and her jaw drops open as she drops the bag to the ground. Luck is on my side though, and it stays closed. "I can't _believe_ you!"

"What?" I shrug and try to reason with her. "It's not _my_ fault you didn't draw me with a _job_! I'm not sure if you've noticed, but the Queen is a rather laid back woman and the city practically runs itself. She _doesn't_ get stressed out very often!"

"That poor man" she points back toward the city we just ran out of "has to make a living! How's he supposed to do that when people just run away with things?!" Great. She's trying to work my compassion. I won't let it happen.

However, as I fold my arms and look away, I'm unable to come up with a proper response. Damn.

My silence being the only answer she needs, her mouth curls into a satisfied smile. I _hate_ when she wins. I look back at her and open my mouth to express this when something just...hits me. I don't know if it's the way the light is hitting her hair or the fire in her eyes or even the way she's tilting her head to the side, waiting for my response, but _something_ puts a feeling into me and I know it isn't going to leave. So I do the thing that seems right: I vocalize it.

"I wanna marry you."

Her eyes widen and her expression changes from 'self-righteous' to 'completely baffled' at my frankness. "_What_?"

"Let's get married. Right now." With that, I sling her over my shoulder and start heading for the Tower.

"What are you _doing_? Put me down!" She slaps my back in protest before slumping over and giving up. She sighs and asks "Valentine, how long have we been together?"

I reply to the seemingly pointless question with another. "When are we counting from?"

Her tone gets impatient. "Take a guess."

So I give her the answer that makes most sense to me. "Two and a half years?" It _is_ how long we've known each other, after all.

"Seven months, Valentine! _Months_, not _years_!" She corrects me, frustrated.

Now _I'm_ the one who's confused. "I don't see your point."

She catches me off guard, wriggling out of my grip and back onto her feet, shaking her head at me in exasperation. "Just...forget it, okay? Besides, isn't it supposed to be a question?"

I drum my fingers together, trying to figure out what the hell she's talking about._ Question_? Oh! Right...wait, _what_? I venture a guess and ask cautiously "_Can_ I marry you?"

By the glare in her eyes and hands placed on her hips I can safely assume that this is, apparently, the _wrong_ question. "I don't know Valentine, _can_ you?"

"But...I'm trying to..." I groan and run my hands through my hair. "What do you _want_ from me?"

"Oh, I don't know Valentine." She gestures in an arc, letting her hand rest somehow in midair. "Maybe a little _romance_? You know, that thing you seem incapable of."

I hold a hand to my chest. "Ow!" Now I point to discarded bag and inform her "I got you _muffins_! We ran twenty blocks and then some just to get to this beautiful place so you could listen to the cute little cheeps you love so much! What's more romantic than _that_ kind of excitement?!" Her eyes continue to burn into me and in desperation I grab a bird of paradise and hold it out to her as it cheeps in shock. "Flower?"

She spreads her arms out to our current environment. "They're _everywhere_! Flowers only work when we're not already _surrounded_ by them!" She snatches the bag up and storms toward the Tower, refusing to say any more on this matter.

"Wait! Smiles! I was just..." I trail off as we reach the main room, realizing even her favorite nickname is having no effect.

An idea pops into my head and I drop to the ground, quickly pulling off my socks and after fishing through my pockets a bit, getting out a marker and drawing faces on them before pulling them onto my hands. "Helena!" At that she finally turns to face me again.

"Umm..."I take a moment to think before making the left puppet speak to the other. "Helena, will you marry me?" Then I talk with the other in a more high pitched voice. "Yes, Valentine! Because" I draw out the last few words playfully "_I love you_! Mwah!" I make the puppets kiss before looking up to gage her response.

Nothing. So I hold up my hands euphorically and announce "Hooray! We're engaged!"

"No, we're not." She says matter-of-factly.

"But you said 'yes'." I smile hopefully and hold out the Puppet Helena to her. "You know, sock puppets? That's...it's our thing." The last part comes out as almost a whine and she stomps into Scullery Number One, locking the door behind her.

I walk over and sink to the floor, my back against the door. Then my stomach rumbles. She could have at _least_ left the food out here.

What happens next can only be called a long, angry, vicious stream of words from both of us in which she sarcastically informs me that the baked goods were indeed, worth every penny (which is absolutely absurd. I've tried them and they're worth much more than their actual going price).

After an hour or so she goes silent. I sigh dejectedly and stare at the floor, still not sure what exactly it was I did wrong.

A few minutes go by before the door opens suddenly, causing me to fall backwards into the scullery. And there she is, a few feet away from me, curled up on the...ceiling? No, wait...I turn myself right-side up and crawl over to her. Her eyes are shut and she clutches the bag to her chest. Arguments always wear her out.

I start to reach for our long overdue breakfast when I feel a warm hand envelope mine. Then another. She opens her eyes and stares at our hands, playing with my fingers. "Oops..." she starts and I see a hint of a tear forming. "I promise not to do it again." It's our way of apologizing _without_ apologizing.

That's all it takes. That's all it ever takes. I brush some hair out of her face before saying "I know."

Then she lets out a small giggle, smiles brightly, and says two little words that fill me with a happiness and relief I didn't know were possible.

"And...yes."


End file.
